Humour

66 entries in this archive

Murphy’s Midnight Manuevres (1600 words, 8 minutes)

This is a simple tale of a Labrador called Murphy.

Murphy is led astray, by another dog called The Corgi, who is his brother.

It is set on the Island of North Uist, where I go fishing each June.

It complements another different tale, also set on North Uist, called “Three Men and a Minnow”.

Both stories are suitable for children of all ages.

I unreservedly recommend “Langass Lodge” as the place to stay/eat, if you are in this area.

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Travels of a Donkey (19,000 words, 90 minutes)

This is a very self-indulgent piece and too, too long!

Taken with “Footsteps”, a very similar autobiographical piece, and “Life after Death”, this trilogy will give an insight into my life, a reminder of just how I am.

Save it up, read it when I am gone.

You can have fresh drivel anytime, while I am still around.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Bumble the Storyman (3,800 words, 16 minutes)

This story is a complement to “Frederica the Frog” which I suggest you scan first.

My friend Mary from Writer’s Circus is someone I think of as ‘an active angel’, always thinking of others and putting her thoughts into action. She is also a very gifted poet!

At a Writer’s meeting she asked me if I would bring one of my stories for children to the school where she helps as a volunteer. I think she may have been involved with this school in her former life as a Teacher.

Details were sketchy. Mary seemed elusive.

Eventually the Big Day arrived.

Give this a try. What you will read is about 95% true.

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The Dreaded Call (200 words, 2 minutes)

This is nonsense.

But once the Aliens had dropped the seed in my brain, it insisted on writing itself.

Though not a poem, I gave John B. Moronigal the blame.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Dr Bill

This is a story of eulogy to a fine man, a man known to many in Bearsden as their GP.

Dr William Matheson was the founder of the Auchenhowie Angling Club.

He was also a legendary Hockey Player, a Goalie, playing on and on and on, for anyone who would give him a game.

To celebrate his 7Oth Birthday he bought a new set of Goalie Whites!

Known to friends as Dr Bill, he was ever cheerful, and full of kindly mischief.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Overheard (150 words, 2 minutes)

In this PC world of ours this piece may draw fire.

The full title is “Overheard in an Orthodontist’s Waiting Room...”

It came from thinking about my friend Norrie, sometime bit-piece actor and thespian of that ilk, putting on his best Sean Connery accent.

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Glue Gen (1600 words/8 mins)

This is a parody of a meeting with a friend.

She too is smitten with the writing bug, and like me, she to is garrulous.

I have long since stopped competing!

I suspect many of my Readers who know her will spot her at once.

She has read this piece and has ‘forgiven’ me.

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thSecret

A few years ago we fulfilled a long held wish to visit Spain’s Costa Verde (Green Coast).

It was a superb holiday. We really should go for another visit.

This area in the North West of Spain sits above Portugal and abuts France.

We spent two weeks on the Costa Verde, exploring Galacia, including a week in La Guardia.

Like their Catalonian cousins around Barcelona, the Galacians are fiercely proud and independent people with a distinctive culture and heritage.

And Galacians make wonderful energetic music! It sounds almost Scottish.

In this piece you may recognise a ‘certain gentleman’ who gets a panning.

The Ladies who Lunch are entirely fictional.

It came out as a sort of ‘script for a play’.

(It is 1200 words long, about 5 minutes reading.)

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Rosemarkie Remembrances

This is a collection of mini-tales linked to our caravaning experiences.

I hope they may entertain and perhaps chime with other Caravanners and Campers.

(It is about 6,500 words taking about 30 minutes to read in one session, but you can dip and drop as you wish.)

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

First Day Nerves!

Granny Morag took her precocious grand-daughter Olivia to the Primary One ‘Induction Day’.

Here is the tale of what might have happened.

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