Humour

60 entries in this archive

Twist and Shout

Our newset grandson, Isaac Rory Bonthron, is to be known to be know as Zac.

In October we visited Abingdon (near Oxford) to enjoy his company.

Here is an account, and a first glimpse at Zac’s personality.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

The Great Duvet Mystery (a 5 minute read)

This little tale arose from a Writers’ Circus challenge.

The opening section is from newspaper cutting and sets sets the scene.

The story is off-beat but it is mercifully short!

Suitable for all ages.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Glasgow Fair Friday, 1964 (1,000 words, a four minute read)

This tale was stirred from my memory banks by a friend at Writers’ Circus.

At the time, there was a challenge to write 500 words “To make Sir Billy Connolly laugh.”

In by youth I worked in the same shipyard as Billy and our paths crossed when I asked him to sing at a folk night organised by a church youth fellowship I was involved with. He was very funny and I am sure he would readily agree, so were many others we worked alongside at that time.

Here is the tale, from those long ago days when the shipyards were full of characters larger than life.

(I did try to get it down to 500 words but they could not contain the story and do it justice.)

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

American Cream Soda (2,500 words, 10 minute read)

This little tale has been lurking in the back of my mind for years. It is based on a family story told many times by my father, Jack, who did indeed cycle out to far flung building sites, in all weathers, his yellow cape and sou’wester his only protection against rain, sleet and snow, often returning home frozen to the bone.

At that time, building trade workers were paid ‘travelling time and expenses’ and, with ‘overtime’ at ‘time and a half’ for weekday evenings and ‘double time’ on weekend days, every extra penny was welcome in our single end at 84 Greenview Street, in Pollokshaws.

(To read a bit more from this period, before the re-development of Pollokshaws under the slum clearance programme, try searching on this website for ‘The Go Between’.)

When Writers’ Circus set a challenge to write on the topic of ‘rubbish’, I decided to try to write it down. Yes, the link is tangential but it was the best I could muster.

The title of this piece?

My Mum was a tea drinker, Betty the Tea Jenny. Like Granny Bremner, Mum was teetotal all her life. Her tipple was American Cream Soda.

So, read on, delve back into the past. Nostalgia never dies.

Many thanks again to Kareth my Editor, who hoes tirelessly through my output of drivel to correct all sorts of spelling, logic and grammar errors and meticulously ensures necessary ‘commas’ are added while battling to eliminate my penchant for the spurious ‘that’ word!

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Purple Willi

This tale was concocted (con-cock-ted?) while trapped in a plane returning from Gran
Canaria a few years ago.

Thought I had posted it to the website then, apparently not or their is a glitch which has
crept in to prevent it being displayed.

Hopefully, this re-posting will solve the problem.

The story is nonsense but, if you are trapped in a Dentist’s waiting room and stuck for
something to divert you from upcoming trauma, try it.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Smoke and Mirrors

At our Writers’ Circus group the ‘chair’ rotates and the incoming ‘chair’ sets the topic

for the following monthly meeting.

The topic set was : “an unexpected encounter”.

This provided an opportunity to weave fantasy with fiction and get down snippet tales many

of my fishing, golfing and singing buddies will have heard, perhaps more than once?

The final scenario, a walk in the park on a snowy winter’s afternoon with a friend’s dog

did happen and I was in real danger, a near death experience which, I suppose, leads us to

the opening scene.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Yesterday in Heaven

This snippet comes from a Ten Minute Challenge at our Writers’ Circus group.

The topic chosen was : “describe heaven”.

Margaret and I had recently been to the cinema to see the much acclaimed film “Yesterday”.

If you like Beatles music, you should see it, good clean fun and poignant too!

Try this link in your browser: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yesterday_(2019_film)

As regulars may know I am in several choirs. I love singing.

And Golf!

Pity I’m proficient at neither!

Read on, please.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Drew and the Dragon Poo

This is a tale from a recent encounter with our grandsons, Ethan (nearly 6) and Drew,

(newly 4).

I hope most parents and grandparents will recognise the atmosphere small children

create as they learn the ways of adults.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Brillo (around 2,600 words, about 8 minutes reading time)

This is a lighthearted tale about an group of friends who are members of the Brillo Investment Club.

The piece was written in response to a Writers’ Circus challenge, “it’s only a suggestion”.

The Birllo Club is in the doldrums and Mrs Slyvi Newlands decides its time for a shake-up.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

Thelwell’s Thespians (4,500 words, about twenty minutes reading time)


This is a spoof piece which was written in response to a Writers’ Circus challenge on the theme ‘That’s not going to work,’ she said bossily.

It came in a rush, more or less writing itself.

No, I have no direct experience of Am Dram but I do enjoy watching.

Go on, dive into the world of the amateur actor.

Click to download PDF Click here to download the PDF.

  Back to Top